Welcome to Soulful Jewish Living: Mindful Practices for Every Day with me, Josh Feigelson.
I’m grateful you’re here, and I hope you benefit from our time together.
When I was 19 years old, something pretty amazing happened: I got elected to the top youth position in the Boy Scouts of America. And while there were many amazing things about that experience, one of the most memorable was meeting President Bill Clinton in the Oval Office to deliver the Boy Scouts’ annual report. (Yes, there’s a picture, and yes we’ll put it in the show notes.)
As I think back to that day, one of things I remember most was not the meeting itself—which lasted all of 5 minutes—but waiting outside the Oval Office for what felt like an hour. The president was running late, and with every passing minute I was getting more and more nervous. In my position with the Boy Scouts I had met plenty of important people already, but this was on a whole other level. I was fidgety and kept worrying if I would remember the lines I was supposed to say. In Yiddish, we might say I had shpilkes—I was on pins and needles.
That’s a thing about waiting rooms. It doesn’t have to be outside the Oval Office. It could be at the doctor’s office or the dentist’s office. It could be outside the principal’s office. It could be waiting for a job interview to start. There can be a lot of anxiety in any of these places. Or, even virtually: When we’re on hold; when we’re waiting for that email that will tell us if we got into college; when you’re waiting early on Monday morning for the latest episode of Soulful Jewish Living to drop! I know, I know. The waiting can be excruciating.
This is our third episode in our miniseries on uncertainty and anxiety. In our first episode we talked about the doom loop we can get into when we catastrophize and spin out. In the second episode we discussed the “manna loop,” focusing on just the next 5 minutes (or the next 24 hours). Today, I want to drill down on this spot of uncertainty, the waiting room, and how we can improve our experience there.
In that waiting room outside the Oval Office, I was treating ‘waiting’ like a hurdle to be cleared. I was ‘future-tripping’—my mind was already five minutes ahead, stumbling over my lines, while my body was stuck in a chair in the present. I was treating that room as ‘dead time,’ a void I had to endure before the ‘real’ event started. And in that gap, anxiety crept in.
But there’s a different way to look at that in-between stage. In Jewish tradition, one of the most sacred objects in our homes isn’t at the center of the dining table or on the mantle. It’s the Mezuzah. And we don’t put it in the middle of the room; we put it on the doorpost. On the threshold.
There is a profound mindfulness lesson in that placement. The Mezuzah suggests that the ‘passing through’—the hallway leading to the President, the 10 minutes in the doctor’s lobby, the walk from your car to your office—is actually a sanctified zone. It isn’t a void. It’s a special, sacred space.
Usually, we think of a waiting room as a place where we’re powerless. We’re waiting for our name to be called, and for the powerful person we’re about to meet to usher us in. But what if instead we thought of it as a hallway? A hallway, different than a waiting room, is a place of movement. When we shift our mindset from ‘I am stuck in this room’ to ‘I am on the threshold of what’s next,’ we reclaim our agency.
That’s one of the things the Mezuzah reminds us of. Whenever we enter or leave a space, whenever we’re on the threshold, the Mezuzah invites us to be aware that Divinity—the force of becoming—is present. And, when we think about it, we might realize that in a lot of ways, life is just one transition after another. Those transitions can be waiting room experiences, full of tension and anxiety, or they can be hallway experiences, full of presence and possibility. The Mezuzah reminds us that the choice, in many ways, is actually up to us.
As we close today, I want to invite you into a brief practice. You don’t need to be standing at a doorpost to do this; you just need to be where you are.
If it’s safe to do so, close your eyes or turn your gaze inward. Try to bring to mind something you are currently ‘waiting’ for. A result, a phone call, a change. Notice how your body reacts. Do you feel your chest leaning forward? Are your shoulders hiked toward your ears? This is the ‘Waiting Room’ posture—the body trying to arrive in a future that isn’t here yet.
Now, if you can, try to intentionally shift your weight back. Feel the support of the chair or the floor beneath you. Instead of leaning into the next room, imagine you are standing in the hallway. There is air here. There is space. You aren’t ‘stuck’; you are in transition. You’re on the threshold of entering something new.
And now, try to picture a mezuzah on the doorframe of this very moment. In Jewish tradition, when we pass a Mezuzah, many folks have the habit of touching it and then bringing their fingers to their lips. It’s a physical ‘kiss’ to the present moment. Mentally ‘touch’ the threshold of right now. Acknowledge one thing that is true in this hallway: The temperature of the air. The feeling of your own breath. The fact that, in this second, you are okay.
Breathe in for four seconds and hold the breath for a beat—that pregnant pause at the top—and breathe out. As you exhale, say to yourself: ‘I am not where I was.’ ‘I am not yet where I am going.’ ‘I am right here—in this hallway, present, mindful, and aware.’“
Notice how you feel. Hopefully a little calmer, a little more aligned, and a little more able to respond with compassion and wisdom.
Blessings for the journey. Know that I’m on it with you.
Thank you for joining us for Soulful Jewish Living: Mindful Practices for Every Day, a production of Unpacked, a brand of OpenDor Media, and the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. This episode is sponsored by Jonathan and Kori Kalafer and the Somerset Patriots: The Bridgewater, NJ-based AA Affiliate of the New York Yankees. If you like this show, subscribe, share this episode with a friend, give us five stars on Apple Podcasts. Check out our website, unpacked.media for everything Unpacked-related, and subscribe to our other podcasts, and check out the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. Most importantly, be in touch–about what you heard today, what you’d like to hear more about, or to dedicate an episode. Write to me at josh@unpacked.media.
This episode was hosted by me, Rabbi Josh Feigelson. Audio was edited by Rob Pera and we’re produced by Rivky Stern. Thanks for joining us.